Some Days Are Just Harder Than Others. What To Do If You Feel Like You Have Enough?
Have you had one of those days when you felt you had enough? Perhaps you had a day where you felt insulted, disrespected, undervalued or worse, humiliated? Or even moments where you didn’t get enough sleep or just in a bad mood for absolutely no reason?
You have done everything you can but still not enough to change what you feel. No matter what others tell you, to scream, pray, meditate, take a break, ignore others or do whatever you love to do, it is just not working! We all go through periods where we feel like we have enough. Because when you are not okay, then you aren't. Some days are just meant to be harder than others. It's better to just take it as it is, because what you resist persist.
The thing is, sometimes, we need to go through the tough times so we can appreciate the good ones. As long as you don't give up on yourself, it's okay not to be ok.
During this covid-19 times, many of us are tested in different ways. The stress we used to manage increased significantly, like for working parents on juggling between jobs and child care, or dealing with stress, either related to health, finances or others that can turn to mental illness.
In my case, the past few months have been such a rollercoaster ride of emotions. At times, the intense lack of sleep and commitments that piled up felt like I was about to completely lose my control. I spent more time dealing with the things that need to be done day-by-day. From supporting my partner, taking care of my little ones, house chores, work, and other commitments. The list just keeps going on and on.
By the end of the day, I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was to relax. But after seeing that pattern of relaxing daily to disconnect from reality, it started to scare me. Why? Because finding time for the things that matter most to me became difficult to accomplish. I realized that sometimes, we justify what we do by using “relaxation” as an excuse to escape from our circumstances – that we work hard to survive for today. Even it also meant, settling down for what you have now, putting behind what truly matters and live to your full potential.
I guess that's life for most of us. It's easy to get caught up with the now. We love going through the motions till the pain become intolerable. Then we put our "big rocks" - the things that are not urgent but important in our lives behind. We then stop thinking about it till we lost the motivation to pursue it. We unconsciously choose comfort over growth, happiness, peace and satisfaction but the question is, how long can you do it? How much more you can lose by the time you say, ENOUGH?
It is heartbreaking that many suffer on surviving day by day on how to make a living. Many of us are laser-focused on making more and dealing with our financial responsibilities. We have forgotten looking inside our soul and assess if what we do really matters. The sad thing is that, if we don’t watch out for ourselves, it maybe too late to realize that the things that we thought so important turned out not to be.
It's ok to stop and reassess your life. It's ok to not be ok at all times. You can unmask and allow yourself be vulnerable. You can get the help you need when you need to.
SO, WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING UP? OR EVEN BEFORE YOU REACH THE POINT TO SAY ENOUGH?
Have an honest conversation with yourself.
Lately, I'm seeing more people going through tough times. Even I, myself, go through this too. What breaks my heart more is to see many people that couldn’t handle tough times and have chosen to end their lives. Because when you make that decision, that’s it. Your precious life is over.
When you are going through tough times, it’s hard! It doesn’t matter what you present in front of everyone. You can be the most entertaining person in the world, and everybody likes you, but deep inside, you’re crushed and broken.
If you keep going without addressing the real pain, it will just keep growing. The question is, how far can you go carrying that burden?
Have an honest conversation with yourself. It’s only when you start asking these questions and face the reality, then you can find the answers you are longing for. Escaping by putting your mask on is not beneficial for you in the long run. You don’t need to keep wearing that mask to represent someone else’s you're not. If you need to take a break, go and do that. Just don’t give up and quit your journey in life.
Keep walking. If you couldn’t walk, even consider crawling.
If ever you reach that point that you can’t go on, pause for a bit before making any big decision. I go with this mantra,” Never make big decisions when you’re at the peak of your emotion.” Seek help. Consider using all the resources you have. Seek professional help and maximize the support around you. Do everything you can to get out of that state.
Focus on YOU and not on them.
If you are going through tough times and you feel that some people contribute more to make it worse, remember this: How others treat you is a representation of how they treat themselves. Sometimes, others can just snap on you even it’s not their intention or make you feel bad about the situation.
Focus on what you can control and not what you can’t. Leave others for who they are. If you are going through tough times, the most important person that you can help and need your full attention is YOU. This is your time!
YOUR LIFE MATTERS. In my second book Tenacious, where I battled with depression, I wrote, “When life gets foggy and path is unclear, remind yourself its temporary.” Because it is, if you choose to keep going. No matter how tough your situation is, if you choose to keep moving, you will see in the end that whatever you’re going through is only part of your journey. One day, you will look back and say the same thing I’ve said, "Dark moments in life don't determine my destiny. It is who I am now, and becoming in my journey."
As I look back I'm glad to be reminded with my priorities again. Yes, we got our commitments, but reminding ourselves on the commitment we have for our own selves, for a higher purpose matter. Because when we are aware of that, then amazing things happen.
If you're going through tough times, or you know someone who can get some support, please share this message. I may not know you personally but I truly believe that no matter what you’re going through, if you will keep moving, there's a bright future waiting ahead of you.
Take care!